It's Days Like This That I Struggle Being a Mommy

I took Colton to the doctor’s office this morning because he’s been running a high fever since yesterday and last night he was having a difficult time breathing. He was perfectly well behaved in the waiting room playing with the toys and playing with a little boy from Russia. However, once we were called back to see the doctor things went from great to terrible. If you haven’t been around autistic children before, you should know that the tiniest thing or even a change in a routine can set them off. Well today it was the thing that checks your temperature in your ear. He has never been a fan of letting people look in his ears and as soon as he saw this he started screaming, kicking his legs and crying. To make matters worse, he is extremely strong and I can barely control him. Thankfully, the brave nurse got his temperature but then informed me that he had to have an X-ray on his chest. I knew things were about to get worse and sure enough he melted down again. Two sweet nurses had to help me hold him still to get an x-ray and after about what seemed like 10 minutes we were done. Poor Colton! We waited to see Dr. Buetner for a few more minutes and we were told that Colton had a small case of bronchitis. Thankfully he loved Dr. Buetner and we didn’t have any more breakdowns at the doctor’s office. As I reached the car, I was almost in tears because I kept thinking, “If I can’t control him at this age, how in the world am I going to be able to control him rest of his life”. “Do I really have everything that it takes to raise this child?” But then I heard a song on the radio that gave me hope. “Our God is Higher, Our God is Stronger, God You are higher than any other.” And I was reminded that God is our strength when we need him! He will always be with me each step of the way and He will guide my path. Colton must have known mommy had a rough morning as well, because on our way to Granny and Pawpaw’s house, he reached his tiny little hand all the way to the front seat of the car and wanted to hold my hand the entire ride there. It’s moments like these that make all the struggles and hard times worth it! Thank you God for blessing my life with my sweet little boy!